my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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