A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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