So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize
