Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
We need to get me chipped asap
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
