I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
two words...techno handjob
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
