I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
