Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
