guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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