walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
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