Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize