I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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