chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Randomize
