dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
