I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
only you would photoshop your dick
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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