that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
is wine microwaveable?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
