didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Everything about him screamed your future.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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