do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
