No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize