the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
