Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Come share oat with me in your robe
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
