Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Randomize
