you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
