Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize