New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
