I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
