Tell her she can't have a vagina
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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