i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
