The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
