i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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