oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
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