his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
