I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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