the condom got lost in my hair
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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