I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
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