I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Randomize
