i think my mom watched the whole time
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
