Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
