So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
