Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
