I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
