You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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