How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
oh god the rape fog is back!
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Randomize
