I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
