I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Enjoy the penises
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
