dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
