im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
