I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
whose ass print is on the piano?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
