i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
