im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
