I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
