We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
