I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
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