I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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