Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
