Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
