you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
