haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
