She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
