I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
