I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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