My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
