East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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