you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
