U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
